Finding love; a guide to loving yourself

The 21st century has turned women more savage and men into more sensitive human beings, but what has caused this switch up of roles and the desperate need for a superficial relationship with someone just to say that you two are together?

Social media has put the spotlight on a number of popular couples such as Beyoncé and Jay Z, Will and Jada Smith, Dewayne Wade and Gabrielle Union-Wade while touting these couples as “relationship goals.” In reality we don’t see or hear about the problems these couples may face or the sad times unless TMZ strikes again and spreads news about a possible divorce or other problems within their relationships that they wanted to keep private. The only “goal” in these relationships that people envy are the dinner dates, gifts the male gives to the woman and publicly sharing smiling photos or videos of the couple together. Is that it? That’s what the dating pool of the 21st century as of 2017 wants out of a relationship? Just to have the opportunity to showcase on social media a happy photo of you two together? Drake said it best referring to the many “relationship goals” couples, “We look like we’re in love, but only on camera.”
However, society never knows if that couple is honestly happy together; they just go off of pictures.
I have a simple solution for blind-eyed individuals and people set out to have a relationship just like the ones they see on their social media timelines. Get a clue people, learn to be yourself and have your own identity and love your partner your own way. Before we can love someone else we must first learn to love ourselves.

A dramatically huge number of people are either no longer in relationships, haven’t been in a relationship in years; have never been in a relationship to begin with or are simply the “side chick” and don’t know it. Since my last relationship, which feels like a century ago, I decided to pick up the pieces and learn to live and love myself, for myself. Knowing how to love yourself no matter who you are or not with, is the key to being able to teach someone how to love you in return. If you are still on the fence about accepting your flaws and the hurtful things of your past, then how can your partner make you overcome them? It will continue to be a constant battle until you learn for yourself how to let the hurtful things of the past go and embrace your flaws because your flaws are what makes you, you. My advice to the young and beautiful women and men of the 21st century trying to find a way to love themselves: set a day once a week and make it  “your day.” Take yourself out to eat or to a movie, buy yourself a gift that will make you happy, or simply just enjoy the world around you. We all know the saying “If you don’t know how to love yourself first, how can you love someone else?” Therefore, in reality no one loves you more than you. In order for someone to put their all into loving you, you must be able to guide them in the right direction in order to succeed at the task at hand.

Which brings us back to the topic of relationship goals in the 21st century: Get your own! The only goal I would want in a relationship, after I have learned the key points in loving myself and                    sharing that love, is a caring person who loves me for me, someone who supports my ambitions and ideas, and most importantly, good for me not just someone to have on my arm. The main goal in life is to be happy and to share that happiness with someone you have chosen to be with. A small word of advice for my single people loving themselves first. There is still hope; in the meantime, love yourself to the utmost high. The right person will come along when the time is right. I’m wondering myself when that will be for me. Until then I will continue to love myself like no other.